The Perils of Parenting Teenagers

The adolescent years are the most vulnerable and crucial years of a human being. It is where parents are needed the most as young teens decide on what to take in college, or get a job after graduating from high school, or when they are torn between deciding on certain aspects of life. The adolescent years are the years when emotions are in a roller coaster ride. These are the years that we parents are really needed the most.

One of my co-workers had to give up some hours of work as she has seen the changes in her family’s routines with her working full time. Her teenager she said lost somebody he can talk to and that her youngest was also feeling the same thing. She knew her teenager was on the verge of breaking down, so she made the decision to cut short her working hours for her family’s sake. They were falling apart, especially her adolescent. She is just lucky that her son is not into something bad and that they don’t need to go see a specialist for detox for opiate addiction. But still her teenager fell, and unfortunately, overdosed himself with several pain killers. My co-worker was devastated and when they were out of danger, she made sure she was there for her sons.

I don’t want that to happen to me, to my sons as well. That’s why when I get angry at them, especially with my eldest, I feel so guilty, I don’t want them to feel that I don’t love them when I am angry. I make sure that I talk to them that what they have done is not good and wrong. It is not easy to raise kids, but if we train them in the way they should go, when they are old, they will not depart from it. I know I have a long way to go, my boys are still 7 and 2 and a half, but when I think of their future and the days ahead of them, when I think of them going into the adolescent years, it gives me the creeps, it makes me anxious. I do not know what the future holds for them and in the society and culture that they will grow into, being there for them in those years is very vital. I am hoping and praying that my husband and I will still be able to teach and train them properly so that they will not get lost. With all these, I can only raise them up to God.

More Hours, Less Time

I’ve been given a few more hours at work and now that puts me in a dilemma. I am not complaining though, the extra hours at work means a few more cents in the bank account, BUT it has taken a few more hours away from my family, and for me who has a toddler who needs my attention, love, care and nurture, that is not so good.

I am torn every time I step out of our apartment, every time I kiss goodbye to my little boy and head off to work (especially when it’s a long shift). My heart says don’t go, but I have to, or else, we won’t have anything to eat. Hubby’s income is not enough, so I should work to augment our expenses. Okay, I admit, it makes me a little bit happy to see a few more hours in my schedule at work, but it makes me sad at the same time because I can’t spend that much time with my family anymore. Call me whatever, but for me, spending time with my boys are far more important than spending a little more time at work, even though I earn from that and it bring food to our table and I am able to help other people as well.

I know, it’s so hard, it just tears my heart apart. I like the fact that I earn a little more, but I loathe the time away from my family! It’s such an irony. But then I guess, I will have to live like this for a couple of years, until the little one is ready for school. Until then, I can finally say that I would love to work more hours to be able to help provide for my growing boys, but for now, my little boy needs me, and I feel guilty that sometimes I spend too much time facing my laptop (when I am at home) than teaching him what he has to learn.

It is such a dilemma.

I’m Saying Goodbye to Diaper!

I have two boys, the eldest is 6 and the youngest is 2 and I am so PROUD to say that I have successfully potty-trained them, or should I say, I did not have problems at all when it comes to potty training. Yes, minimal to no problems at all, it’s because my boys trained themselves to use the potty! Thanks to my hubby who somehow influenced them. It’s like this, my husband (ssshhhh, it’s a secret) usually don’t close the bathroom door when he uses it, so our little boys get to see him peeing (gosh!) Because of this, our little boy follows his daddy to the bathroom and sees everything that’s going on there. I know it’s not a right thing to do (to not close the bathroom door when you are using it), but somehow in a way, our little boy has learned to go by himself from watching his dad.

It was weeks ago when Job did not want to wear his diaper anymore. He wanted to take it off and just be on his pants. So when he was doing this, hubby and I kept reminding him to say “wiwish” when he wants to go pee. We also bought him a potty where he can sit down and pee. Yes, he first used them and even helped in flushing his pee into the toilet, but because it was such a waste of water (cleaning the potty then flushing it again in the big toilet), I decided to just let him use the big one so that we can save water. To this, which the little boy gladly followed and since then, he doesn’t use his own potty anymore and would just say “Wiwish potty!” That means he wants to go to the big toilet! For the first few nights, we still had our little boy wear his nappy, but in the morning when he wakes up, it’s just wrinkled, dry and empty! By the time he’s up, he would ask me or his dad to take off the diaper and he would say “wiwish potty!” And there you go!┬áThree years ago too, my eldest just trained to go by himself. The time just came that he did not want to wear diaper anymore and would just ran to the bathroom and do his thing.

What makes me so PROUD is that there was no coercion, no force, no pushing my boys to sit in the potty and go, they just did it themselves and my eldest has NEVER wet his bed ever since. The little boy has not wet our bed yet and he has not been wearing any diaper at night for about two weeks now! For me this is a GREAT ACHIEVEMENT! I know of some parents and moms especially who have had terrible experiences with potty training that they almost gave up. I am just so fortunate and I feel blessed that my little boys did not give me any headache with potty training!