I’ve been given a few more hours at work and now that puts me in a dilemma. I am not complaining though, the extra hours at work means a few more cents in the bank account, BUT it has taken a few more hours away from my family, and for me who has a toddler who needs my attention, love, care and nurture, that is not so good.
I am torn every time I step out of our apartment, every time I kiss goodbye to my little boy and head off to work (especially when it’s a long shift). My heart says don’t go, but I have to, or else, we won’t have anything to eat. Hubby’s income is not enough, so I should work to augment our expenses. Okay, I admit, it makes me a little bit happy to see a few more hours in my schedule at work, but it makes me sad at the same time because I can’t spend that much time with my family anymore. Call me whatever, but for me, spending time with my boys are far more important than spending a little more time at work, even though I earn from that and it bring food to our table and I am able to help other people as well.
I know, it’s so hard, it just tears my heart apart. I like the fact that I earn a little more, but I loathe the time away from my family! It’s such an irony. But then I guess, I will have to live like this for a couple of years, until the little one is ready for school. Until then, I can finally say that I would love to work more hours to be able to help provide for my growing boys, but for now, my little boy needs me, and I feel guilty that sometimes I spend too much time facing my laptop (when I am at home) than teaching him what he has to learn.
It is such a dilemma.