I’ve been given a few more hours at work and now that puts me in a dilemma. I am not complaining though, the extra hours at work means a few more cents in the bank account, BUT it has taken a few more hours away from my family, and for me who has a toddler who needs my attention, love, care and nurture, that is not so good.
I am torn every time I step out of our apartment, every time I kiss goodbye to my little boy and head off to work (especially when it’s a long shift). My heart says don’t go, but I have to, or else, we won’t have anything to eat. Hubby’s income is not enough, so I should work to augment our expenses. Okay, I admit, it makes me a little bit happy to see a few more hours in my schedule at work, but it makes me sad at the same time because I can’t spend that much time with my family anymore. Call me whatever, but for me, spending time with my boys are far more important than spending a little more time at work, even though I earn from that and it bring food to our table and I am able to help other people as well.
I know, it’s so hard, it just tears my heart apart. I like the fact that I earn a little more, but I loathe the time away from my family! It’s such an irony. But then I guess, I will have to live like this for a couple of years, until the little one is ready for school. Until then, I can finally say that I would love to work more hours to be able to help provide for my growing boys, but for now, my little boy needs me, and I feel guilty that sometimes I spend too much time facing my laptop (when I am at home) than teaching him what he has to learn.
It is such a dilemma.
It will be my first long weekend that I am not going to work. Usually, I always have work the day before the holiday so it really not a long weekend at all because I only have two days off. So anyway, it is also the last long weekend of this year’s summer. It is the Labour Day weekend and many will be heading somewhere to enjoy the long weekend and we are no exception to that.
We are heading to the Canadian National Exhibition in Toronto and watch the 64th Canadian International Air Show, and of course, enjoy the rides, foods and other events at the Exhibition Place. We did plan this last week after our camping (on our way home) that we all watch the Air Show, that is with Tita Bambi and Kevin, and we initially plan it this Saturday, but when I found out that I have work on Saturday and none on Sunday, we changed the date and go with my day off. So we hope to have a good time at the exhibition (fair).
It will be the last summer before going back to school and I am happy too I will be able to spend it with my boys, especially with my school boy since he will be in school most of the time and it will make me miss him, even though he drives me crazy and mad all the time! So even if I don’t have work on the weekend, I am still glad.
I am totally enjoying and loving my three days off! It was a holiday last Monday, and we had fun biking around downtown and it was very well spent. Hubby was already gone back to work while I am enjoying the remaining hours of the day today since tomorrow I will be going back to real life. I’ve spent so far the morning hours in cleaning the apartment, playing with Job and biking with hubby (and the little boy), that was to bring Kuya Bogs to summer camp.
Now, I am trying to update my blogs and visit some as well. I have so many to write, everything’s actually written in my head, but when it comes to “scribbling” them online, they all seem to disappear or have been erased. Anyway, for this week, I’ve only got 16 hours of week, that means I won’t be getting the usual amount of pay that I receive every two weeks. That also means that I will be a little short my budget for the next two weeks. Oh well, life and happiness is not all money, I can never trade the precious times I’ve spent with my family in the last three days. Even though sometimes my little boys drive me nuts (oh not sometimes, all the time), they still bring me joy and complete me.
So for now, even when at times I feel so sad and desperate to providing them the best of what this country has, I will content myself with what we have. I will praise and thank God for everything that He has done for us. 🙂